


Hinata Orange Creamsicle

by daahrling



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Hinata Orange Creamsicle, Other, hey mom are you proud of me yet?, i finally fucking post this after three years of having it done, rest in peace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 07:15:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9710573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daahrling/pseuds/daahrling
Summary: Just another day in suburbia, and Hajime Hinata needs a way to beat the heat. A video changes his life, and he cannot resist the call of frozen orange juice popsicles.





	

**Author's Note:**

> haha can you fucking believe i actually wrote this three years ago? feels like yesterday. homage to the rest of the hinata orange creamsicle gang, if youre still out there.

It was the end of July, the sort of days that are so swelteringly humid one finds oneself breaking a sweat even whilst standing still. In the desperate grip of the middle of suburbia, the heat made the very air waver over the monotonous tarmac, and the sprinklers keeping the withered grass alive gave little respite to any seeking some escape from the oppressive heat. It was in front of one of the countless identical houses that Hajime Hinata found himself resting, staring off into the middle-class void that was suburbia.

He needed a way to beat the heat. It was hot, way too hot for his liking. Hajime Hinata needed a plan. 

A plan came in the form of a text from Komaeda, several hours later as Hinata lounged idly on his couch, watching the fan on the ceiling slowly rotate as the air conditioner wheezed as it struggled to fill the room with cool air. It was failing tremendously. Hinata lifted his phone as it vibrated, checking the new message that had arrived from Komaeda. It was a link to some blog that seemed to be humor and aesthetic themed. Hinata idly scrolled down the blog, pausing as he saw a video.

He clicked on it, letting it go fullscreen as he saw that it was a video of the real-life cannibal Shia LaBeouf. "DO IT", LaBeouf screamed, squatting slightly and flexing, "Just DO IT!!" Hinata was intrigued, so didn't immediately exit the video. "Don't let your dreams be dreams", LaBeouf continued, pointing at the screen. "Yesterday you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT!!" Hinata continued to watch with rapt attention, feeling an emotional stirring deep in his chest. "Make your dreams come true!!" As he listened, a solitary tear rolled down the side of his face. "Nothing is impossible!!" He nodded at these words. "What are you waiting for?!? JUST DO IT!" Hinata clenched his fist, opening his eyes.

What was he waiting for? Well, currently, the end of the video, which came twenty seconds later. He exited the video, suddenly realizing he still had nothing to DO. What COULD he do? He sighed, going back to scrolling down the blog, before gasping. Right underneath the video was an aesthetic post of a bunch of popsicles. They looked like orange popsicles, and they were lusciously beaded with condensation as they practically glistened in the lighting of the photo. He licked his lips helplessly. Hinata felt another stirring, but this one was not in his chest. He now knew what he must do.

He rose as if in a dream, almost tripping as he stumbled towards the kitchen, and wrenched open the freezer, goosebumps rising on his skin as he was hit with a blast of frigid air. Hinata stuck a hand in the freezer, his hands searching and grasping for a small box. His fingers curling around it, he gingerly pulled it from the freezer, haphazardly leaving the freezer door open in his haste to get at what was inside.

He opened the box. Inside there was eight little white plastic packages. Selecting one, he unwrapped it, his knees going weak as the orange creamsicle popsicle came into view, the air wavering and steaming minutely about it due to its freezing temperature. There were small crystals of ice on it from being in the freezer so long, but otherwise the almost phallic shaped dessert was completely smooth. Realizing he had been drooling, Hinata absentmindedly wiped at his mouth. It almost looked too good for what was about to happen.

Lifting the popsicle to his mouth, he dragged his tongue down the side of it with a breathy sigh. He slid the popsicle in his mouth as far as it could go without gagging, swiping his tongue over it as he tried to make sure the surface was slick. Once sure, he pulled it from his mouth, a strand of saliva connecting the popsicle to his mouth. Hinata broke the strand, before using his free hand to slide down his shorts and boxers. He was hard, but he had already been since he saw the picture of the popsicles.

Hinata moved the popsicle, positioning it between his asscheeks.

It was cold against his asshole, and he shivered, more from excitement than how freezing it was. He mentally prepared himself, once more hearing the inspiring words of Shia LaBeouf, imagining the real-life cannibal telling him to "DO IT!!". Shia LaBeouf was an inspiration to us all. Biting his lip, Hinata plunged the popsicle inside of himself, and stifled a small moan at the delightfully cold feeling now inside of him.

He began to pump the popsicle in and out with desire, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his face. He was still hot and bothered like earlier, except now in an entirely different and terrifying way. Another moan escaped him as the thought came to him that he was literally fucking himself with a popsicle. Hajime Hinata didn't care anymore though. He was so elated, feeling at one with the universe as he continually penetrated himself with the orange creamsicle as it began to melt, thick and lukewarm as it ran down his legs. He had just done it. He was following his dreams. He didn't allow them to just be dreams. Nothing was impossible, especially when it was popsicle. Shia LaBeouf would be so proud.

He quickened the pace of the popsicle, his free hand gripping his dick firmly and pumping that as well, no longer able to even try to stifle his moans. The popsicle was melting faster now, but his ass felt so cold he barely noticed. Hinata could feel himself reaching his peak, and gave a last few pumps as he came suddenly and violently, his body rocking with the force of his orgasm. He shuddered as the feeling left him, sinking to his knees with exhaustion.

There was melted popsicle everywhere, and he was drenched in sweat. He felt terrible, but still euphoric at what he had just accomplished. But then, the pain came. His asshole was so cold it burned, and it began to get numb. Hinata had removed the popsicle, so he'd expected the feeling to go away. But it didn't, as he learned to his agony and despair. He could barely move because of exhaustion, but he knew he needed to do something.

Crawling back to the couch, he grabbed his phone, clumsily dialing Komaeda's number and slurring a plea for him to come take him to the hospital.

And then he lay there, reconsidering his life choices while he waited for Komaeda to come pick him up. Hajime Hinata was glad that he had followed his dream, but he felt regret that his biggest goal in life was to fuck a popsicle. It was probably the most excitement he would get, living in the bourgeois hell of suburbia. Maybe communism wasn't such a bad idea. He groaned as he felt another pang of pain from his ass. He compared the pain to capitalism briefly, before once more being more introspective about how smart it had been to stick a popsicle up his ass.

Hinata was still pondering the mysteries of life when Komaeda opened the door, looking around in abject horror and dismay at the scene. Hinata was lying on the floor without any pants on, and several feet away in the kitchen there was a mess of melted popsicles and other liquids. The freezer door was still open, most of the things almost thawed out by this time. "Hinata-kun, what just happened?!", Komaeda burst out, "What did you do?!"

Hinata only answered with a groan. Komaeda gingerly looked at the box. "These are alcoholic creamsicles..." He looked at Hinata again. "Hinata-kun, did you fuck yourself with a popsicle?" Hinata gave a miserable nod from where he was on the floor. "You're probably fucking smashed then, since you just gave yourself the equivalent of an alcohol enema." Hinata blacked out.

Later, Komaeda had gotten Hinata to the hospital. Besides being hopelessly drunk, Hajime Hinata had contracted frostbite in the middle of summer, in his asshole. It seemed to be an unique situation, and he was laughed at for years later. Hinata lost his taste for orange-flavored foods, and quietly excused himself whenever anyone offered him a popsicle ever since. Sometimes he still wonders if Shia LaBeouf truly would be proud of him. He has wondered it ever since that fateful day where he did it, that day of Hinata Orange Creamsicle.

**Author's Note:**

> if i write an epilogue will i still go to heaven?


End file.
